The LXi Fatherhood Circle: Respect to Reality - Part 1

In this special Father’s Day edition of Pardon the Politics, the fellas drop the politics (for now) and dive deep into what it means to be a Black father in America. Joined by brothers from the LXI network—including Chuck from the NcompassD podcast and resident therapist Eric—the conversation gets real, funny, and heartfelt. From Moesha’s messy dad to the legacy of Uncle Phil, from Deion Sanders’ unapologetic parenting to generational trauma, the episode blends barbershop energy with TED Talk-level insight. It’s a celebration, a reckoning, and a reminder: Black dads are here, thriving, healing, and building. Tune in for emotional gems, hilarious sitcom debates, and truths about navigating fatherhood in a world that often misunderstands Black masculinity.

🎧 Tap in now and give your dad his flowers while he’s here.

🔗 https://linktr.ee/pardonthepolitics

Chapters

• 0:00 Black Fatherhood: Celebrating Contributions
• 7:15 Fictional TV and Movie Fathers
• 17:42 Challenges of Black Fatherhood
• 22:53 Black Fathers' Vulnerability and Connection
• 28:22 Challenging Black Fatherhood Archetypes
• 33:28 Challenges of Black Fatherhood Today
• 38:18 Navigating Biracial Identity and Heritage
• 48:21 Raising Children in Diverse Cultures
• 1:05:12 Challenges of Male Vulnerability
• 1:10:01 Encouraging Fatherhood and Growth

Transcript

WEBVTT
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Jeezy: Hello world and welcome to pardon the politics podcast
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Jeezy: season 2. Episode 24. 
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Manny: No, Jack Bauer!
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Jeezy: Right. This is a special episode. We're cleaning the palate with this episode, and.
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Manny: Oh, yeah.
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Jeezy: We're not going to talk about politics. It's too much to talk about.
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Manny: Brush.
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Jeezy: Point, and quite frankly, for 23 episodes. We have done enough that quite frankly, the boys need a break. But this
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Jeezy: good day
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Jeezy: special a special week that is coming up. And this is father's day weekend that has just passed, and we need some recognition right.
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Manny: Absolutely absolutely. We work hard. 365 days out of the year 66, if it's a leap year.
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Jeezy: Bruh.
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Manny: We deserve it.
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Jeezy: And for our listeners. 1st of all, as we always do, we want to thank you for tuning in to this episode, but as a special treat. We have the umbrella of Lxi. That will be joining us in this episode, and obviously you have me your co-host, Jeezy, and you have my brother and my partner in politics, Manny. But we also have
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Jeezy: some additions to this episode. We have our brother chuck from encompass. Podcast, that's under our lxi. Umbrella, so shout out to Chuck, what's good, my brother.
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Chuck: My brothers, what's going on.
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Jeezy: Going on. Man, t.
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Chuck: Yes, sir.
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Jeezy: Not only do we have chuck, but we also have our regional therapist.
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Manny: Brother.
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Jeezy: Our brother, our brother Eric, that is joining us as well, who is a part of lxi. So shout out to Eric, what's good, my brother, how you doing.
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Eric: What's going on family, what's going on? Y'all, I'm doing good. Appreciate y'all, boys.
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Jeezy: Hey!
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Manny: See.
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Chuck: Hey, man, you! You introduced Eric like he was the assistant to the assistant. Our regional therapist.
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Eric: That makes sense.
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Jeezy: Gave me the the specific title.
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Jeezy: I wanted to keep it professional, but also I wanted to at least acknowledge my man's accomplishments.
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Manny: There you go!
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Chuck: E.
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Jeezy: Our brother here. So this is a special episode for us, and I'm so honored, and me and Manny both are just privileged just to be able to bring those that are within the umbrella to this episode, that we are just gonna we're gonna talk about fatherhood. I think that this is something that we don't talk enough about, and certainly
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Jeezy: we've all said it. And we you've heard on previous episode that the the involve
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Jeezy: the the father, the black father in the community sometimes doesn't get the acknowledgement that that he deserves.
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Manny: Not at all.
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Jeezy: Definitely want to make sure that we do this on this episode. And I just want to say before we jump into this, that right now we have the the highest quality
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Jeezy: fatherhood that you will ever have in one episode. So to my, oh, yeah, this.
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Jeezy: you guys Happy father's day. Thank you for the contribution that you do to your families, and like we always say at the end of our episodes that nobody loves you. If don't, nobody love you. We love you here at the podcast, the love that I have, and we have for each other as fathers and and what you guys exemplify for your families. I just want you guys to know that you are.
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Jeezy: You are revered. You are top notch, you are top tier, and I'm just glad that we're doing this episode, man. So this is.
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Jeezy: oh, man.
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Manny: Shout out to y'all man, so shout out, shout out to Lxi, fathers, man!
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Manny: And and the ones that that couldn't join us due to other commitments. Why? Because they're also black fathers.
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Manny: Man we love. Y'all, you know, I I think one of the the things that
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Manny: we don't necessarily talk about is that in this this journey of black fatherhood, the need for having a village, and really just having a group of guys that you can go to
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Manny: and just pour out your heart a little bit. You know we're we're in a world that
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Manny: really forces you into a box, and to have that place where we can talk frequently. And not only just listen to me like
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Manny: I've had conversations with all these guys, and you know, in a good portion they'll be like, Hey, man, are you right on this? But in other cases they'll be like, Hey, man, you were wrong on this one. You you gotta go fix this. You you got to approach this differently. So
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Manny: there's a there's a deep importance, not only for for all fathers, but especially black fathers, to have a place they can go to to really just check in and level set. And you know, you all, I appreciate that
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Manny: that that you guys provide to me.
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Jeezy: Well, I was going to say at the beginning of the episode, that black fathers matter.
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Jeezy: but I know that when you take 2 of the 3 words, and in America, if you say black, it matters, it's not received.
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Jeezy: So I'm I'm going to say the the present African American father is important.
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Chuck: That's a lot.
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Jeezy: That's a lot of.
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Chuck: Put on a t-shirt.
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Jeezy: But I don't want black, and I don't want matters to get get get caught up in the mix, so.
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Manny: Right.
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Jeezy: Thank you for the contribution that you all do. And I'm gonna say this
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Jeezy: to go ahead and get the get the the conversation started.
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Jeezy: Who who is our top? 5 black dads in America that could be in sitcoms? That could be a TV.
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Manny: Oh, no, not see! I thought oh.
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Chuck: No, no, I'm gonna throw you a curveball.
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Chuck: Oh, man.
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Jeezy: It could be, it could be in any shape, form, or fashion. Who
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Jeezy: is our top? 5 black dance. Now I'm gonna go ahead and remove myself from this situation, and we'll talk about this later on in the episode. But the example that I had set forth Moesha's dad would be number one for me, so.
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Manny: And we all know how horrible of that to the.
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Jeezy: He didn't tell Dorian that he was really his son. He let this nephew for 18 years, and then told him that he was his dad and then shipped him off to the military. So I'm just counting
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Jeezy: you're that trauma. But
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Jeezy: bruh heavy heavy, and we'll talk about it later on in the episode. But who do you consider top 5 black dad?
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Chuck: Okay, I'll go first.st I'm gonna make this real easy.
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Manny: Is that okay?
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Chuck: Dial on Dialon, dialogue, dial on.
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Jeezy: Arrested in Raleigh like he would.
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Eric: Yeah. He was. He was.
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Jeezy: That's a good example of a black day. Okay.
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Chuck: Okay, go ahead.
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Manny: All right, all right. See, you threw me a curve because I had prepped for for some of this. All right. So
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Manny: yeah, number one.
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Jeezy: Will's dad.
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Manny: I want to but you you.
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Chuck: Open it up like you did.
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Eric: That's what I'm saying, man.
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Manny: Oh, I'm not Will's dad? Sorry, sorry you said Will's dad. I was like, Oh, Phil.
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Chuck: Coming from coming from the fan of Moisha's dad.
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Manny: That's appropriate.
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Jeezy: I got. Will Dad number 2, I'ma? I'ma get my top 5 off.
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Manny: This, but hold on.
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Chuck: Number.
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Jeezy: 2.
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Chuck: Which which wheel's dad or Bel Air.
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Jeezy: No, no, no.
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Chuck: Oh!
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Jeezy: The truck driver, one that came and act like he was. Gonna pick him up it literally.
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Jeezy: Yeah, that's number 2. He, a good man.
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Manny: All right. So my number one separating the person from the actor
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Manny: is, I'm gonna go with Cliff Huxtable.
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Manny: Yo.
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Jeezy: Peel Huxtable.
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Eric: Yeah, all right.
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Manny: Hey, man, so I'm I'm gonna go with him.
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Jeezy: Yeah.
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Manny: Man, just the
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Manny: the impact, I think to to really just be on the forefront of America and that TV, and then all. And I'll probably steal a good portion of what what Chuck is getting ready to say regarding him. But his impact? He is my number one, Cliff Huxtable, not to be confused with Bill Cosby. So those are 2 different people.
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Jeezy: Very similar, though that.
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Manny: I'm you know. Yeah.
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Jeezy: Can I say this real quick, and I'm I'm sorry.
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Jeezy: but when you go back and watch some of those episodes, and you realize who Peel Huxtable was.
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Eric: Just just that frame of mind.
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Jeezy: Is it not possible that that Claire was a little high to.
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Chuck: I mean he did have the capacity to write prescriptions.
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Jeezy: See? See? That's why we got Chuck here. See, that's.
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Manny: So, anyways, thank you.
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Jeezy: So now I digress, let me let me let me.
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Eric: Connected, too much.
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Jeezy: Thank you. Chuck. Thank you.
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Manny: My number 2.
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Manny: His uncle, Phil.
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Manny: Number 2 is Uncle Phil.
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Manny: My number 3.
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Manny: I'm going. Barack Obama.
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Eric: Obama? Why.
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Manny: Going, Obama, look man! To to be the leader of the free world, and then to raise
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Manny: 2 black girls, you know successfully. Now he had a unit around him, and that I think that is an importance of of fatherhood and family to have that unit around you. You know I'm slotting him in at Number 3
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Manny: at Number 4.
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Jeezy: So.
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Eric: But I feel you.
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Eric: I know.
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Manny: Number 4.
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Manny: I'm going and what I'm going. Bernie Mac's character on Bernie Mac.
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Jeezy: Oh, you tripping could have been over Obama Bro.
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Manny: I'm I'm going 3 and 4.
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Chuck: Let's make this clear. Bernie Mac was a father, figure
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Manny: True father, figure.
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Jeezy: And and he watched Jordan
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Jeezy: world of ribbons. He sat in a gymnasium
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Jeezy: and watch that boy twirl them ribbons.
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Manny: Hey? Hey? Sometimes you just gotta support your kids.
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Eric: To his credit. He ain't know until he got there to his credit. He ain't until he got there.
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Jeezy: I mean he didn't, but I know Obama ain't have had to deal with it.
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Manny: And then number 5. I'm going. Carl Winslow.
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Eric: Okay.
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Chuck: That's.
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Manny: My top. 5.
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Jeezy: The way that Eddie turned out in real life. I can't get car. No, I can't get car. No.
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Jeezy: the car was a whole over there.
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Chuck: My issue with Carl is, you had? Well, well, well.
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Eric: Yeah.
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Chuck: You had a child that went missing, and you were a cop, and we ain't never remember. I know.
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Chuck: Jpb, I'm just saying Bro.
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Manny: As as our as you guys are probably finding. Now, as we we dive deeper into this episode, this is the kind of time we're on tonight. So today. So.
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Jeezy: Carl can't be on the list because he let Steve just come over whenever he did, and I ain't never seen no black. Dad just let anybody just come up in the house when.
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Eric: Anybody.
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Jeezy: Too.
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Eric: Anybody.
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Manny: Hey? Look, man, you know.
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Chuck: That's your list.
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Manny: List. That's my list. What you got.
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Jeezy: Gotcha.
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Chuck: Oh, man, okay. So my number one, Dad
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Chuck: is the the goat of goats.
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Chuck: Mr. Fred G. Sanford himself.
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Jeezy: Bingo!
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Chuck: Big dummy.
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Manny: Bingo!
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Chuck: That's my number one. My number 2, I I'm gonna have to
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Chuck: echo manny sentiment. And Geez threw a curveball for sure, because he said.
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Chuck: the entire spectrum. But I'll go with old Cliff Huxtable, simply because
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Chuck: what he did on a large scale, culturally for black fathers even in in the TV space.
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Chuck: I'm going to go build number 3.
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Chuck: That's a good one. I think I'm gonna go.
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Chuck: Oh, man, Uncle Phil, I gotta go. Uncle Phil. Uncle Phil! Uncle Phil was a legit one.
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Chuck: you know. He he let that oldest daughter he is run a little little wild.
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Chuck: And was harsher on Ashley than Hillary. But that's the epitome of a parent who's tired by that last child. And then he fooled around and had another one
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Chuck: well into his older years. So you know.
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Manny: Ain't. No, ain't no way, uncle. You made entirely too much money for the.
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Chuck: To know.
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Jeezy: The whoopsies, child.
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Chuck: The -oh, child!
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Manny: Yeah, bye.
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Jeezy: That was, what do you love coming from a donor party and
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Jeezy: got a little, had a little too much champagne.
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Chuck: Too many, too many champagne. He has some of that sham ripple cham ripple.
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Jeezy: Yes, sir.
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Chuck: Free agency.
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Chuck: Number 4. That's a that's a tough one.
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Chuck: because I want to go TV dads. But I kind of don't want to go TV dads.
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Chuck: And I don't know these people in real life. So I'm gonna go TV that
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Chuck: go ahead, Manny. What you was about to say.
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Chuck: no, no, I think that's what makes it difficult. Yeah.
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Jeezy: Hmm.
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Chuck: Oh, man, so
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Chuck: I'm not gonna include myself because I would always be number one on my list. But
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Chuck: number 4, who would I be number 4,
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Chuck: I think. Oh, man, I'm tripping.
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Chuck: I gotta shout out my boy James Evans I mean he was
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Chuck: the 1st TV dad who showed you.
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Chuck: He he struck fear in you, and you were just watching the shit.
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Manny: Just just watching it go down.
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Chuck: Listen it. James dealt with a lot, and James was tired. James came.
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Manny: All the time every day, and I and
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Manny: and as a dad, now I feel that.
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Eric: Yeah. Oh, my God!
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Chuck: Feel that deeply.
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Manny: Damn!
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Chuck: I understand.
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Eric: A moment's rest.
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Chuck: My number 5, Dad, you know.
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Chuck: I'm gonna have to go. This is gonna feel a bit weird.
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Manny: -Oh.
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Chuck: Email.
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Eric: Turbo.
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Eric: I'm okay.
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Manny: Bruh!
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Manny: Here's my reason. Here's my reason.
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Eric: Go! Ahead, chuck! Go ahead!
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Chuck: All the hoop as a file.
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Manny: Of it.
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Chuck: We owe want to leave a legacy to our children, and in that
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Chuck: he left a legacy for his children.
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Manny: He did.
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Chuck: Yeah. And now, unfortunately, he was not around to raise and rear his children from their younger years, because a couple of his children went astray, and kind of, you know, went down the beaten path, but.
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Manny: Oh, Bernice, sorry sorry I I.
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Chuck: East Lander on my watch.
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Manny: Properties.
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Manny: Mlk. The 3.rd
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Jeezy: How about it?
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Chuck: In other words.
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Manny: Oh, oh, no! I'm trying to remember.
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Manny: That's how we really on a night.
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Manny: But.
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Jeezy: But.
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Chuck: I say him because I ain't have no other one. I just want to throw something a curve ball in there. But but seriously. He left a legacy. So you know, legacy, legacy, legacy.
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Manny: What? What, in the words of Manuel Lynn? Miranda, what is a legacy? It's planting trees in a garden that you will never get to see.
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Jeezy: Hmm.
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Chuck: The Tony's was the other night. Brother.
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Manny: I'm sorry. Hamilton is just one of my my favorite musicals of all time. I believe I have that thing entire, the entire thing committed to memory.
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Manny: But yeah, it just seemed like a fine time to slide that in.
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Chuck: It's June.
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Manny: Hi! There!
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Jeezy: Eric? What's your what's your lineup.
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Eric: I was thinking about. I was going through. I think there's a Mount Rushmore, right? You got your Uncle Phil got you, you know James Evans, Cliff Hucks.
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Jeezy: I like James Evans.
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Eric: That's that's what I gotta get. Chuck
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Eric: that one, I give chuck that he threw that one in there, I'll give, I won't give you top 5. I'll just add 2 to that route. Mount Rushmore. One movie, one TV.
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Eric: I'll take movie. God! What is his name. Pursuit of Happiness.
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Eric: Chris Chris Gardner.
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Manny: Oh, big, big.
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Eric: Of that role of that role.
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Manny: Well, just like the.
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Eric: Vulnerability pieces you were touching on earlier manny with like going back to a village and being vulnerable in that emotional touch point. Emotional.
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Manny: Yeah.
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Eric: So being the resident therapist, you know, I'm I'm I'm already lean into that and just
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Chuck: To see about to say that.
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Eric: Yeah, you don't.
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Eric: Amen.
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Jeezy: In that bag.
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Manny: You never!
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Jeezy: Hey!
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Eric: Yeah, and just being able to see, like, you know, an actual depiction of struggle and being able to be vulnerable with your children and go through something like that, and then actually come on the other side of it right? And see actually black excellence and achievement, even through struggle and then Chris Gardner was a great example of that.
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Eric: And then I'll take one more modern one, because I think y'all hit some really cornerstone ones, Andre, from Blackish Andre Johnson.
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Manny: Sure.
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Eric: A a again. Emotions right, I think, is just a good example of like, you know, modern fathers, and being able to kind of flow with the current. You know, racism systems at large, managing, you know, cultural
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Eric: managing cultural things while trying to be in this upper class, if you will, and trying to be around white counterparts and still hold on to your culture and your values, and still being able to pass it on your kids in a genuine way, not allowing outside external factors influence that I think he was a great, a great part of that. And then on a macro level.
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Eric: I think he's 1 of recently. I'm trying to think there's any other black fathers. But like on major television network in prime time.
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Eric: He's 1 of one of the fathers, I think I haven't seen there. Yeah.
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Eric: go ahead, jeez go ahead, Jeez.
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Jeezy: Man, this man, hey, Bro! Eric ain't never talk like this. Bro. What's going on? Bro.
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Eric: There you go!
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Jeezy: It's a call.
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Jeezy: It's a clone right now.
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Chuck: Hey!
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Chuck: Assassinated in 2020.
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Manny: Hey! Brother, hey! Man.
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Jeezy: They cloned this Bro. They killed, they killed the real Eric, hey, Bro! They killed the real Eric
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Jeezy: gave us. This clone filled him antimanium Bro. And now we sit here talking to this man Bro. This man ain't never said nothing like this. This was the most classroom answer I ever heard in my life. Bro. Jesus Christ. Now let me stop. Let me.
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Eric: And that's my black fathers.
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Jeezy: That man got his bag. Bro.
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Chuck: All the way.
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Jeezy: He was in your bag. Bro. Like a like a book bag from Jc. Penney's on the 1st day of school. Bro. Jesus. But that was, that was a good answer.
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Manny: I can't fault the answer.
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Jeezy: Can't even call the answer. Bro.
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Eric: I understand the shock, though I get it.
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Eric: I get it.
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Jeezy: I felt like.
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Manny: Down on the couch.
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Jeezy: My! I don't cross my ankles on a leather couch.
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Eric: We activate that sleeper cell, my 9 to 5 sleeper cell. We're talking about fatherhood and emotions.
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Jeezy: All right. So to move forward in the episode.
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Jeezy: What we want to do is we have a couple of questions that we want to present the group as far as fathers, that we're going to give our our actual idea and our thought on some of these things that actually matter to black fathers, and I think that it's important that you have these gentlemen here
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Jeezy: to give their different perspective. As you can already tell, we all have different views. We all have different responses.
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Jeezy: To how we approach fatherhood. So the 1st question I want to give to the group.
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Jeezy: In this, in this episode is what unique challenges and stereotypes do black fathers face
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Jeezy: in American society? And how have those perceptions affected your experience as a father.
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Chuck: That was.
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Manny: That is a lot.
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Jeezy: Gucci man said it best. Heavy topic, heavy.
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Manny: You know, I don't think any of the challenges are unique.
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Jeezy: Okay.
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Manny: Alone. I think I think they become unique.
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Manny: because I think we are dealing with a lot of them all together at once.
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Manny: And trying to give them all
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Manny: top ranking. And I think that that's 1 of the challenges I deal with
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Manny: between balancing. How do I be present?
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Manny: How do I still be loving? How do I be? How am I being disciplined, and what I need to do while still absorbing my responsibilities while still also trying to
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Manny: deal with my own wounds from childhood, you know.
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Manny: And it's and it's hard because I
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Manny: I think what I'm learning on this journey is that at no point are any of those things all number one
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Manny: all the time like I want them to be number one. But I think that's the that's the 1st route to failure is trying to keep them all balanced to be number one. But it's realizing that at some times being present is the most important thing that I can be here.
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Manny: then, in this other moment, being loving is the most important thing that I can do here.
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Manny: and in another moment being disciplined is is being that. And
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Manny: I think that's a new well, I won't say new, but it's like it's something I feel like more millennial fathers are dealing with.
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Manny: because it's a desire to be able to try to switch all of those and be that kind of person and kind of like fill those voids that I did not necessarily have now. Was my dad present? Yes, he was. Was he disciplined? Was he loving? Yes, he was absolutely all of those.
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Manny: But I feel like disciplined was always number one for him.
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Manny: Okay, and I think there were times growing up where I would have just loved for him to switch from being disciplined to being loving.
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Jeezy: Hmm.
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Manny: And
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Manny: making that switch of him being loving to him, being present, and it, I think, the unfortunate part about like my story. My father passed when I was 21, and this this journey of fatherhood for me.
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Manny: I've become more empathetic to him.
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Manny: and understand, and truly understanding the the stress that fatherhood carries the stress of marriage and all that, and I would have. I would have loved to have a conversation with him like at this point, you know.
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Manny: you know, to be at my house right now, and just kick it with me on the back porch while we have a drink and just chat and to not have that
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Manny: I think. And it but is that that perception?
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Manny: And then also just fighting the perceptions of who they think we are. If we look at statistics and you look at hold on, let me.
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Manny: you know, gotta find the right Stat.
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Chuck: Stat man, statman.
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Eric: That's why you're looking.
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Jeezy: Yeah, that's you.
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Manny: 70%. So according to the Cdc some stats that they ran about 70% of resident black fathers engage in daily nurturing compared to 60% of white and 45% of Hispanic.
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Manny: you know. And I think it's caught in a lot what Jesus says about the black present, father like, we're really here. We're really doing this. And this is not down shooting to any any other race, because I know every now for millennials. At a whole, we are there, we are super involved.
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Manny: But yeah, that's kind of my answer, and I almost brutally forgot that it's just not me. And jeez so I pontificated a little bit longer than I needed to. So anyways.
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Jeezy: Said. He has something so.
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Eric: Yeah, I mean, man, you said a whole lot. You I think you touch on a whole lot of things like, 1st thing is, shout out to you for reflecting back on your relationship with your father and reclaiming that, and not allowing the what you didn't have, or things you missed out on kind of filled the void of like
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Eric: that relationship, and being able to see from his perspective. Now you're able to walk in those shoes right.
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Manny: And being vulnerable about that.
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Eric: I think that you know black fathers, the the stereotypes and stigmas that come with that right. There's the
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Eric: absent, emotionally unavailable or disengaged stigma and stereotype that I don't think any of us subscribe or believe in or practice at all, but I do want to talk about like how harmful. That is as new parents, too, right? And I think that there's this hyper vigilance a lot of black fathers have.
335
Eric: It creates this pressure that we have to perform.
336
Eric: and be this father, and be on our shit and doing all this stuff, and being this well attuned, available present, father, when I just want to be a dad. I just want to take my kid to daycare. I don't want to pause, and I don't want to have to always feel like I'm performing for someone to, you know. Show that I'm able or I'm this person that's able to be a parent. I just want to be a father in my neighborhood. But there's this hypervisions that we're all carrying of.
337
Eric: Damn. I got to make sure I'm going to doing this, and I'm doing that, and that's how we burn the hell out right. And there's no there's no space for a lot of black fathers to go to the when kind of to your point, Manny, of this pool of black fathers and lxi. To talk and be vulnerable. And and then they take a step back is
338
Eric: who really has the skills to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is an incredibly tough skill to actually put into play. Right? It sounds good. And we all want connection, right? That's just a that's a biological thing we have. However, you don't get connection just by showing up. You get connection by presence, by that vulnerability. You speak of Manny right? And speaking of, we were there when you were 21 years old, and.
339
Manny: Yeah.
340
Eric: You know that that situation happened right, and that's such a vulnerable moment. And then you ask why we're so tight. And and that's what I'm just echoing is what you're hitting on is creating these relationships with other black men going through similar journeys because you're like I'm lacking this. Sit down and have a drink with my dad, and that's powerful man. I just want to recognize that for you. G, that's good shit and.
341
Manny: There!
342
Eric: You know, I just think the the healing comes right, and embracing the fullness of who you are and who we are. We're loving, flawed healing and growing black fathers right? And I'm not parenting to prove society wrong, and I'm doing it to to break cycles and and build something new for Aiden, and something new for all my nieces and nephews.
343
Chuck: Thank you.
344
Chuck: You were you were up to something. Bro, because that dude is not only a clone.
345
Manny: I told you I told you, Bro. I told you. Bro, listen.
346
Chuck: It's dope, man, it's dope.
347
Chuck: But yeah, Bro.
348
Jeezy: Oh!
349
Eric: When it comes to black mental wellness like huge for me, just generational trauma, man, it's that shit so.
350
Jeezy: Bruv. We.
351
Eric: Close.
352
Jeezy: Yeah, go ahead and book the flights. Bro, we gotta go up there and I got to see
353
Jeezy: start asking him questions. I'm asking questions that only only he would know.
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Chuck: It.
355
Jeezy: Only he would know. I gotta ask some questions.
356
Eric: We got a couple more questions to go to. It's going to start getting that conspiracy popping.
357
Jeezy: But but hey, but don't, don't be trying to divert now, and give your therapist your response. We we need some of your content, too. Now.
358
Jeezy: yeah.
359
Jeezy: because you've had. You've had experiences as well that that may not be similar to ours, but definitely
360
Jeezy: pushes the the conversation forward. But I want to. I want to say this to to take my turn in this conversation
361
Jeezy: or this question, why does society?
362
Jeezy: And we've already kind of said it already before, and and I want to point it out.
363
Jeezy: Why does society praise Uncle Phil?
364
Jeezy: But criticized fathers like Levar, Ball and Deion Sanders.
365
Chuck: Pick me, pick me.
366
Manny: Hmm.
367
Jeezy: You go, brother.
368
Chuck: Right, all right, all right.
369
Chuck: So he's safe.
370
Chuck: He was. He fit.
371
Chuck: A box.
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Jeezy: No, no, no, no, no! Let me stop you. Safe is too safe.
373
Chuck: No, no, I'm I'm getting that.
374
Jeezy: Okay. Okay.
375
Chuck: I'm expanding on.
376
Manny: Let them cook it.
377
Chuck: So he he fit within a box of normalcy for them.
378
Chuck: He was a doctor, you, you, your wife was a lawyer.
379
Chuck: Hmm.
380
Chuck: Eon and Levar Ball were
381
Chuck: not to take anything away from what they did. But Dion and Levar Ball were trailblazers.
382
Eric: Yeah.
383
Chuck: They wanted to do it their way. They wanted to control the narrative, and they they.
384
Jeezy: We're unapologetic. Yeah, in.
385
Chuck: This is what I am doing for my kids, and let's throw another father in there. And I and I'm kicking myself because he actually was my number 5, and I dropped the ball when I got there. Richard Williams.
386
Chuck: He's right in in that same line with Levar Ball, and even Dion, and so in that, because they can't put him in the box, them in the box, and they demanded.
387
Chuck: not ask for, not
388
Chuck: tried to get permission of, but demanded that you would not only respect, but you would see their children at a high level. You're not going to shortchange them. That's what the issue was for.
389
Eric: Yeah.
390
Jeezy: But when when I think about that, when we talk about perspectives.
391
Jeezy: why is it that we have to? Just because a father is confident.
392
Jeezy: just because a father is assertive, just because a father is unapologetic. And what both of those fathers, and in the 3rd one that you threw in there.
393
Jeezy: They're not problematic fathers.
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Manny: It's different.
395
Jeezy: They're just. They know their children, you know. You look at what's happened and what's transpired with Shadorah Sanders.
396
Jeezy: It's rumored that the only reason that he slid was because of his father.
397
Jeezy: But has this man, this young man
398
Jeezy: with the characteristics that he's displayed, not been
399
Jeezy: something that he has learned from his father
400
Jeezy: and not going forth. I mean, I've seen a clip today where they this reporter today. The clip that I saw they asked him a question about his father's health.
401
Jeezy: and when they asked him this question, granted, he loves his father.
402
Jeezy: and he could have responded to whatever health concern that his father has, but what he chose to do, he said, hey, I'm here for the Browns. I don't want to talk about nothing that got anything to do with my family. I'm here. And I thought that was weird because y'all criticize his dad, but didn't want to talk to him about his dad.
403
Jeezy: So then the present black father that Dion is.
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Jeezy: y'all have a problem if they don't look like Uncle Phil.
405
Chuck: Yeah, much.
406
Jeezy: Go ahead!
407
Eric: Yeah, I was. Gonna say, I mean, here's here's what I think of when you're talking about Levar ball and and coach Prime and and Dion.
408
Eric: it's a system of like, you know, we're talking about 2 black men who didn't need to participate in white systems to achieve success. And they're taking up space and agency, and it pissed people off the system at large right into Chuck's Point. They're unapologetic about it, you know, a lot of times like it's a lot of people have to subscribe or not subscribe, assimilate
409
Eric: who they are in order to be successful. And here are 2 strong black men who said, I'm gonna do it my way. Do you have to agree with everything they say or do? No.
410
Eric: you can understand the message and the power within it, though right like. I don't agree with everything, Levar Ball said. However, the way he talks about his children, and the confidence that he instills them in the way he speaks life into them children. I I take that from him.
411
Eric: Absolutely.
412
Eric: So to your point. Jeez, I think the bigger context you're talking about is, you know, what's okay by the dominant discourse?
413
Eric: And what are what are we allowing kids of color to be
414
Eric: in a controlled environment versus like, Dare these kids dream, and, you know, stand on their own 10 toes, and not only be.
415
Eric: you know, in the room, but a seat at the table.
416
Jeezy: But I think for me, what bothers me is that in a space where black dads don't occupy enough?
417
Jeezy: Yeah. And there there are different reasons why it could be because, you know, the dad is incarcerated, or what have you? But in a space that is already thin.
418
Jeezy: why does America and American society hate
419
Jeezy: and hate is a strong word.
420
Jeezy: but I think it's very appropriate.
421
Eric: Got it?
422
Jeezy: Why does America hate present black dad if it does not look like Uncle Phil?
423
Jeezy: I think that is something
424
Jeezy: that needs that needs to be talked about, and really isn't an examination of the nature of this society.
425
Chuck: So I'll say this, brother and you can go ahead and queue it up.
426
Jeezy: Let's go. Let's go.
427
Chuck: We there, we there!
428
Chuck: Here it is, here it is.
429
Chuck: It's appropriate that it's only part in the politics.
430
Chuck: Let's go back to the crack era.
431
Manny: Hmm.
432
Chuck: In fact. No.
433
Chuck: Oh, let's go before the crack era.
434
Eric: You can go as far as you want.
435
Chuck: Let's let's we. Yeah, we can go way back. But I'm just gonna I'm gonna speak to that timeframe leading up to now
436
Chuck: the elegance, the stature of the black man and the black father in the 60 s.
437
Jeezy: Yep.
438
Chuck: The strong nature of the black man, and what he represented in the sixties going into the seventies
439
Chuck: caused fear into society 100%,
440
Chuck: then. So then we we get into the eighties, and we know
441
Chuck: crack era, the the destruction of the manufacturing sector, because honestly, a lot of those jobs during that time period is what financed and funded our households. They had factory jobs. And so
442
Chuck: you, you take away your livelihood. You take away your meaning, because as fathers.
443
Chuck: we have 2 innate fillings in in fatherhood to provide and to protect.
444
Manny: Hmm.
445
Chuck: And if we, if you take one of those away, the feeling of being inadequate.
446
Chuck: can definitely destroy and break down a man. So then we move into the eighties and the early nineties, and the narrative was.
447
Chuck: all these black men are being locked up. Black fathers aren't present, and there is some truth to black fathers not being present, and we can go through the statistics of
448
Chuck: the incarceration rate, and how it shot up and skyrocketed during this time period, and the disproportionate amount of black men that were locked up compared to other races. So yes, it did play a large factor in that. But I also believe it played a large factor in our generation of fathers being present now.
449
Jeezy: Yeah.
450
Chuck: How we are by far the highest percentage of present and active fathers in our children's lives.
451
Jeezy: Yep.
452
Chuck: As the I guess you could say elder statesmen of Fatherhood
453
Chuck: group with the oldest child.
454
Chuck: one thing for me that I had to get out of my own way was when people would say, Oh, I just love that you're there with your children, or
455
Chuck: and at State Point it was my daughter. Oh, you're just so, you know, you being there is awesome.
456
Chuck: and why you ain't got to sing my praise for doing exactly.
457
Jeezy: To do right exactly. But then I realized.
458
Chuck: To your point, Jeezy.
459
Chuck: Oh, I
460
Chuck: I'm breaking the stereotype. I'm breaking the perception of the norm. And as I got on and my daughter got older and started school, and we go to school and school functions, and.
461
Jeezy: Yeah.
462
Chuck: Different meetings, and it's more like jazz there than anybody.
463
Eric: Yep.
464
Chuck: So, yeah, that's the like. I said, I didn't want to go too deep into it, but it was appropriate on part in the politics
465
Chuck: if you. We could go much further back. But for this modern time, because to your point, Manny, earlier about your dad and the disciplinary nature of him. I can think back to my grandfather, both my grandfathers. They were very disciplinary in men, you know. That was the nature of their generation and their mindset, and so to express and show love.
466
Chuck: They they.
467
Manny: That's how they did it.
468
Chuck: They did it. They did it, but it did it in that fashion. Exactly. And so I I can think to conversations, and having with my mother about her father, and how she can. She has openly said how she cannot remember one time when she was growing up, that he said, I love you.
469
Jeezy: And that's annoying.
470
Chuck: Of me.
471
Manny: Yeah.
472
Chuck: I knew he loved me, but he never said it.
473
Jeezy: Never said it.
474
Eric: I was. Gonna yeah, I was, gonna say, Chuck, I was like I was, gonna say, why, why is that right? And it's questioning like, where does that come from? And it's a protective factor that turned into a risk factor right? When you think about protective factors like Do taken from Chuck's like the time piece of it, like being emotionally stoic and not expressing yourself was a safety risk earlier, right before us. That's been generally she passed down generation trauma right like from our fathers. My dad right wu he's definitely in that in that echelon.
475
Eric: shout out to wu shout out, Wu right.
476
Chuck: There's 1.
477
Eric: Man.
478
Eric: He's in the echelon of fathers who did not express emotion, and it was seen through this disciplinarian action, and it was protective factor. That's how they were parented like, you cannot have agency. You can't show up, and you can't take up space in a room, because that will. At 1 point it was, they'll get you killed. Yeah. And so now it's.
479
Chuck: Emotional is weak.
480
Eric: Absolutely. And so now I think the biggest piece is what I really value and and love about this group is, not only do we recognize that we in so many different ways
481
Eric: work against that
482
Eric: right, to to be able to to take those things we're learning from our fathers, and how we were parented and understand like, does this help me? Does this not help me? So? But yeah, chuck to your point like it's it's all you know I could talk about systemic, and we can get the conspiracy going. But 13th Amendment has shown itself
483
Eric: in various times in this history, and Co Kangaroo's crack epidemic is one of them, because that separated the nuclear family and had a mistrust in the family system.
484
Jeezy: Yeah, I just want our listeners to know that's a black man that paid attention in class.
485
Manny: It's all I'm saying.
486
Jeezy: They may earned it, they may earn it.
487
Jeezy: Undergrad school, not undergrad, not just undergrad cause. He he definitely won't like that in undergrad.
488
Eric: No, not even.
489
Jeezy: The boy earn that thing.
490
Manny: I
491
Manny: I hope to do that 2 days after school semester back in under brain cells to put together then. But.
492
Chuck: But but to move, to move forward.
493
Jeezy: And and I. And this is the hard thing about this episode that we do, because just just off this question alone, we could, we could.
494
Manny: Oh, we got episodes on episode.
495
Jeezy: We could talk so much. And that's why this is so special.
496
Jeezy: What we're doing. Because at least we're having the conversation. But we could, we could break each one of these things down into a segment of his own. But I want to. I want to move forward, and I want to ask this question.
497
Jeezy: For the fathers.
498
Jeezy: How do you balance?
499
Jeezy: Wait! Hold on, you said for the fathers, as if there was not a nonfather on here. I mean.
500
Jeezy: yeah, you're right.
501
Eric: Hey, man, I think he was addressing all of us. There's there's black fathers, and there's Eric, the file.
502
Jeezy: There may be somebody that listens that has questions.
503
Jeezy: I wanna I just wanna state I just wanna state include.
504
Manny: That's fair. That's fair.
505
Jeezy: So so for for this question, I want to just ask, how do you balance
506
Jeezy: passing down cultural heritage and values to your children while also helping them navigate environments where they may be misunderstood
507
Jeezy: or marginalized. And I think that is a this is yes, this is.
508
Eric: 2 episodes on it as a part, one, part, 2. 2 episodes.
509
Jeezy: It can. It definitely can be. And and Eric and and this is to know no slight whatsoever. You think, what I'm thinking that I know that you, as a as a, as a, as a biracial man.
510
Eric: Yeah.
511
Jeezy: And then having, you know, a child that is, of a another ethnicity which adds to
512
Jeezy: the uniqueness of him I would love to hear.
513
Jeezy: since you, since you, since you are our residential.
514
Eric: Residential Wife residential therapist.
515
Manny: Translation.
516
Jeezy: I would love to hear your response
517
Jeezy: in this, because I when I saw this question, I thought about you because I know we joke, and you know we we do what we do as men. But I was like
518
Jeezy: for the 1st time, and I and I'm admitting it the 1st time I thought about it, and I sat back, and I said.
519
Jeezy: This is probably the most challenging task anybody in this group.
520
Manny: Yeah.
521
Jeezy: When it comes to you.
522
Jeezy: So so can you speak on this, and we'll circle around everybody else. But I want to throw this pause, note to your way.
523
Jeezy: and and and let let us hear, you know, and let our listeners. It's June. You right, you right shout out to pride.
524
Jeezy: How do you handle something like this?
525
Eric: Man, and and it's funny. When I saw this question I I had to sit with it for a little bit soon. But
526
Eric: one thing I think about when I think about Aiden, you know, he's he's basically triracial, black, white, and Chinese. And there's a lot of culture within there out of 2 of the 3. To be quite honest, one thing I think about metaphorically is.
527
Eric: I try to give aiden roots and wings. I think it's, you know, roots in that richness of black culture, Chinese culture, the strength of both sides of his ancestors, and I only speak to what I know right, my black ancestors, and I trust my partner can do the same for his Chinese culture. However, I think it's more about giving roots and wings and wings to him to take, like, you know, those building blocks of culture, and what makes up him and be proud of that. And with that, too, I think that you hit it too. It's like, you know, at the same time.
528
Eric: being very aware he's gonna enter rooms where people will project assumptions on him
529
Eric: before he even opens his mouth and and informs folks right? So I want to teach him emotional intelligence and honestly, code switching and and not as performance, but, as you know, as protection
530
Eric: and really keeping the door open for him, just to be able to not know
531
Eric: and to be confused because I was confused. Man like, you know that being biracial and and navigating, you know. Are you?
532
Eric: Do I fit into this group? Do I fit into that group, because we live in very absolutes in our mind. Right? It's like all or nothing kind of deal when you think about mood and anxiety. And so, you know I think about when he gets older and navigating, that it's how do I prepare him to be able to have this self confidence, and that you know he's worth. He's he's enough, and he's not going to allow the very harsh world of undergrad elementary and high school waters to
533
Eric: yeah push him to feel like he's less than
534
Eric: and feel like he has to do something he doesn't identify with. Right. I think a lot of things that I deal with the kids that are biracial or even just trying to identify. We think about identity. Right? That's kind of what we're talking about, right? Lost in identity. They will jump into that substance use, or the more maladaptive behaviors, you know, to give it clinical terms. But as much as I can give him these roots of
535
Eric: who woo is right, allowing him to be around my father and my uncles and aunts and the Anthony family, and allowing him to understand what black culture is, and black excellence and black love is
536
Eric: is the best thing I can do. I can't speak to it. So while my father is still with me right is, I take advantage of that while my grandpa, while you know my aunt or my cousins are still here, I'm going to make it my mission to get him there as much as possible to soak that up, because that's what's going to carry him when he gets older. And when you make these decisions based off values, you know. Yeah, my connection with him and me talking to him will be important. But if I can put him in the environments right being around y'all is another one, right? Just being around the culture
537
Eric: and let letting him connect with it and be vulnerable with it. At early age. When he gets older he'll be able to speak on that. And you know people that may, you know, test his blackness if you will, or his proximity to blackness. He's able to speak on some real shit
538
Eric: and not just be like, Oh, yeah. Well, you know I I do. I do generic black. You know what these kids might say, but he's able to speak the language, and he's able to have that code switch that feels like he's part of some culture.
539
Chuck: I I want to tackle this next. And I actually
540
Chuck: I know we've referenced Anthony Johnson earlier. But or Andre Johnson, Anthony Anderson is his real name, but I actually had often said that I live a real life blackish, and I say that because my daughter is fluent in Spanish, like completely fluent. It has been fluent since early elementary years, and in those years it allowed
541
Chuck: us to navigate spaces that were not traditional in the black community.
542
Manny: Yeah.
543
Chuck: And even in the space of family members, jokingly but lovingly calling her door and.
544
Manny: By Dora, the explorer.
545
Manny: Yeah, Dorothy.
546
Manny: Okay.
547
Chuck: Yeah. And so for me. Not only was it the speaking Spanish, but it was also
548
Chuck: for me, having the drive and desire to give my children a better life. And because I grew up in the hood and grew up around the hood.
549
Chuck: I'm not going back to the hood.
550
Chuck: I'm gonna do for the hood, but I don't want to live there again. So, having to balance that
551
Chuck: quote unquote, keeping it real.
552
Chuck: but at the same time showing my children another level of life, like when we would have
553
Chuck: Thanksgiving and the entire family comes back together. I worked hard, and my children went to my grandmother's house, and they have their ipads, and all of their cousins is hovered around them
554
Chuck: because they don't have access to this stuff.
555
Manny: Right.
556
Chuck: And you know, my son, talking about the different game systems he has, or when family comes over and
557
Chuck: his cousins are flocking to these things
558
Chuck: I have to make sure I've allowed them to understand
559
Chuck: just because you have does not make you better. Then.
560
Manny: Right.
561
Chuck: And
562
Chuck: in regards to cultural heritage and values, there are those foundational things that I want them to have from the black space. But at the same time
563
Chuck: I'm establishing our own values, our own traditions that encompass
564
Chuck: that black culture, that black heritage.
565
Manny: And what's valuable to you.
566
Chuck: And what's valuable to me for sure, and so in that you have to instill in them that
567
Chuck: be happy and proud of who you are, no matter the space.
568
Manny: Yeah.
569
Chuck: Be. You be strong in who you are, because when you go to advance yourself
570
Chuck: you can be looked at sideways in the black spaces.
571
Manny: Yeah, absolutely.
572
Chuck: You know the the term of talking white or sounding white.
573
Eric: Yeah.
574
Chuck: And I know Eric said it in in cold switch, and I I have a a disdain for
575
Chuck: the connotation that comes on that, because it it is used to diminish your authenticity. Sometimes.
576
Chuck: And in that
577
Chuck: I even for myself, you know, people say, Oh, you talking like a white boy. No, I'm talking proper because my mother stayed on my head
578
Chuck: talking profit.
579
Chuck: My mother was in the education system as a teacher, and so she just stayed on my head. Simple as that now
580
Chuck: can I get it in the space and slang it up for sure. And but it's a matter of
581
Chuck: me understanding time and place, and that's what.
582
Eric: Yeah.
583
Chuck: I put into my children. Even the schools they've gone to some of them have been predominantly white. I am honored to say that my daughter made the choice on her own to go to Hbcu because she wanted to be surrounded by that culture.
584
Chuck: And you know, as long as we're putting our children in spaces
585
Chuck: and and instilling in them to know you are who you are, no matter who's around.
586
Manny: Oh no!
587
Chuck: Number one thing.
588
Manny: And I think, Oh, go ahead, Manny.
589
Manny: I know, and I think you you hit on it perfectly when you talk about balance, you know when I think about my kids I want. I want them to be proud of who they are and where they come from.
590
Manny: But I also have a job as a parent to prepare them for a world that's not going to welcome them with open arms.
591
Manny: And then the the denominator, balancing all of that is, how do I balance giving them everything that I have access to
592
Manny: versus the character traits that got built because I didn't have access to those things.
593
Chuck: Yes, sir.
594
Manny: And it's such a it's a it's a hard balance. But I think my plan is, you know, make sure they know the history.
595
Manny: You know, started from there. But make sure that they have those tools
596
Manny: that make them 6 that make them successful, you know. Yeah, to one of the points that that you called out, eric.
597
Manny: being able to operate in those spaces. I was a Black Republican.
598
Eric: Yeah.
599
Manny: And one of the things I think, you see, especially in the Republican party, pre-trump
600
Manny: is. Most of the African Americans that were involved were forced into like this little box of like. Oh, you're going to work on Diversity.
601
Eric: Yeah.
602
Manny: That wasn't me like.
603
Jeezy: Yeah.
604
Manny: I was a policy for my political society. I was focused on policy writing good policy that would impact all people.
605
Manny: especially, you know my people. So I think it is a balance. But
606
Manny: I think something. We just have to constantly be intentional about trying to have that balance. I want them to be successful.
607
Jeezy: Yes.
608
Manny: But the my biggest struggle here is I have Mcdonald's money now.
609
Eric: Hmm.
610
Jeezy: Yeah.
611
Eric: Fact, it's like you want to give them everything.
612
Manny: Yeah, like.
613
Jeezy: But it.
614
Jeezy: Oh, yeah.
615
Manny: Yeah, like my like that. The struggle of the hood, the struggle of Hey, we're gonna have this same bowl of meatballs and spaghetti, because we know it's gonna have to last 4 or 5 days.
616
Jeezy: Oh, you had meatballs.
617
Manny: Yeah, yeah.
618
Jeezy: Oh, man, you yeah, you privileged man, you had a good point, though.
619
Eric: You had a good point right? It's manage. It's the balance.
620
Manny: Yeah.
621
Eric: And I think 2 things can be true. Right? You can. You can be very understanding of. I will not let my kids go without and teach boundaries.
622
Manny: Yeah.
623
Eric: Kids can still have nice things and mean nothing, but they deserve things right. And it's how you teach and how you introduce it.
624
Eric: I think about what I write down here? You guys hit a lot of things value aligned behaviors when you're talking about like, what do we build for our kids. What was Chuck talking about? It's like this. That's why I think that his daughter chose a black college right? It's like their value was rooted in some blackness all through. You think about like, you know, we watch these kids grow up right.
625
Jeezy: Yeah.
626
Eric: And we see that they really surrounded them with healthy black nuclear family values. And so it makes sense when they get into this space of autonomy, and where they want to be, you know. Take up space and have agency. That's where she chose to go, and I think that echoes the power and the success, and honestly.
627
Eric: the the gratefulness. I got to be able to look at
628
Eric: Chuck and Kiana and and pull from them, or look at Jeezy and Jasmine or Manny. And you know, just like we're able to look at each other from different examples. And and we're able to kind of point out to that being black and
629
Eric: being a black father is not a monolithic experience. There's not one way that we can show up, and I think that's what traps a lot of black fathers is. We let society push us to only be able to show up. If I could be this thing, and that's when I deserve value. I deserve respect, or I deserve validation.
630
Eric: And the biggest piece I've taken from just parenthood and fatherhood and black fatherhood in general is, I'm allowed to show up in different ways. I can be a tired father. I could be tired and present right? It doesn't mean I can't be present and tired and reframing. What does tired mean for me? Right tired means that I'm doing things that are with my values. That's challenging me and me engaging with my child is tiring, and that means I'm doing the work of being a father. So, instead of being like God.
631
Eric: so tired and just, being so like in the mood about it. That's gonna give me energy like I got to reframe it. And the the new style of like what I think parenthood is for us as black fathers is reframing what these emotions mean when they come to us accepting. We're going to have emotions, man.
632
Eric: it is what it. That's just what it is, and what our fathers did. That we shouldn't do now is ignore that. And I think that we have a very healthy space that we've created, that we don't allow those things to go ignored, and we show up for each other. And we really come up with these emotions. And we process that stuff. And when you roll Mall that for your kids that's powerful, that's better than any book that's better than any. Sit down, Combo, or you know, in the sitcom dad style, you know beautiful music. Sit down, hug thing.
633
Eric: It's when you're
634
Eric: to role model this shit every day and show up like being an adult and being successful is
635
Eric: me hitting my goals in life and showing up my bullshit. And the more you can role model that the more your kids will be that well attuned.
636
Jeezy: Well, I think that to piggyback off of something that you said Eric was.
637
Jeezy: we're so fortunate as a a group of of gentlemen.
638
Eric: Yeah, we have the support system.
639
Jeezy: To be able to do those things.
640
Manny: Yeah.
641
Jeezy: To support each other in in whatever way we needed. And I would. And I know this is a question that'll be for for later, but that is something that needs to be
642
Jeezy: that shouldn't be taken lightly.
643
Eric: Because I think that when I look at our group.
644
Jeezy: There are! There are a lot of men that don't have what we have.
645
Eric: A lot.
646
Jeezy: And we are so fortunate, and I speak as a person who is a single.
647
Jeezy: our only child. Excuse me.
648
Jeezy: That doesn't have any brothers or sisters or siblings. But you guys are that for me?
649
Jeezy: And and when I think about this question that we have.
650
Jeezy: it makes me think, and it often worries me about my youngest. Is that how do I handle
651
Jeezy: the ugly of of society of the world while preserving the beauty within the child?
652
Eric: The innocence of childhood.
653
Chuck: I can help you. There, brother.
654
Chuck: Okay, that's something that's something that
655
Chuck: I dealt with with my daughter. And reassuring her.
656
Chuck: She is everything that she thinks she is.
657
Jeezy: Yeah.
658
Eric: Yep.
659
Chuck: Regardless of
660
Chuck: what comes up against her, regardless of what she may encounter. You, you champion her, you support her. But most of all.
661
Chuck: you're you're that support. When when those moments come
662
Chuck: you're just there as a a reinforcement of who she is, because.
663
Jeezy: Yeah.
664
Chuck: I can say about your your daughter, your youngest
665
Chuck: man, her her personality, her she like. She's so full of life.
666
Chuck: And Bro.
667
Chuck: I often tell people and and other painters, and we'll get into this later. But
668
Chuck: don't dim your children's light any capacity. Allow them to be who they are
669
Chuck: to nurture it. And you know, instill those strong foundational things. Speaking of culture and values. One thing that I did for mine is, I made them learn, lift every voice. I required them to give me a book report in black history.
670
Chuck: simply because.
671
Manny: That's good.
672
Chuck: Too.
673
Manny: My kids about to pay Uncle Chuck for this idea.
674
Manny: Listener.
675
Eric: The layers of just man. There's so many layers to. With that I love it.
676
Chuck: And so, and and so for me it was. I could tell you this stuff all day long.
677
Jeezy: Yeah. Yeah.
678
Jeezy: But when you go get it yourself.
679
Chuck: It. It adds something to it to the point. Now my daughter was in a program, and they had them sing it, and she was like the only one who knew it.
680
Manny: Didn't get to that second verse and start humming through it.
681
Jeezy: Hey, Brett, let me tell you.
682
Chuck: If you, if you know that second verse, you've rehearsed it.
683
Manny: Oh, yeah.
684
Jeezy: It ain't many people that know that second verse. Bro. Don't act like you was standing with the slaves.
685
Manny: You don't know it.
686
Jeezy: Don't know.
687
Chuck: At all.
688
Eric: Google's lift, every voice. Second, right?
689
Manny: But to to something you called out Eric.
690
Manny: The stats show. According to the Cdc 13% of black men reported no close friends.
691
Jeezy: Hold on! What's that number? Again? Say that again.
692
Manny: 13% of black men have no close friends absent a father. So just looking at black men.
693
Jeezy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Manny: But from that same report 70% of black men rely on their friends for emotional support.
695
Jeezy: Yikes.
696
Manny: And that is a that is a strange dichotomy that you have to navigate through. Of
697
Manny: how? How, who do you go to when you need support you, how you manage.
698
Jeezy: Teaching.
699
Manny: Can I.
700
Jeezy: Run, to.
701
Manny: We.
702
Jeezy: I need love.
703
Chuck: No.
704
Manny: Whoa!
705
Chuck: We love.
706
Jeezy: But for that question, though
707
Jeezy: most men don't have what they need to do that like like again, like I said before, we're blessed if I know that I need our. If I need my residential therapist that's within the group I know who I can call.
708
Jeezy: Yeah.
709
Jeezy: need to talk about this particular topic I can call Manny. I know, if I can call Chuck for this like we have that. And it's crazy to me when you read off that statistic, that there are so many men who don't have what we have.
710
Chuck: There you are. I have a
711
Chuck: I'm not shocked by. I'm actually shocked that the number is not higher. The reason I say that is because it is
712
Chuck: programmed in our minds. To not be expressive is programmed in our minds to not
713
Chuck: care to not show emotion, and so.
714
Eric: Have a daughter correct.
715
Chuck: Have a door, have a dog.
716
Eric: Either die or learn.
717
Chuck: And I'll say it for myself. Ha! Like I've always been an expressive person
718
Jeezy: Yeah.
719
Chuck: Good or bad. I've I've gotten in trouble for it. But my daughter
720
Chuck: change the dynamic of my expression. I kind of touched on it in my last podcast where I have a sister who is a year younger than me. And so with my sister, I've refused to allow her to be a punk, and nobody's going to take advantage of her. She's gonna be rough, rugged, and get out here and be a killer.
721
Chuck: and I treated her in that fashion, because we were so close in age, even though I'm the oldest. I refuse to allow you to be subjected to this.
722
Chuck: but I cannot talk
723
Chuck: to my daughter, and put into my daughter the same things that I put into my sister in regards to
724
Chuck: your emotional intelligence, your emotional well-being.
725
Jeezy: Yep.
726
Chuck: And I can't even respond to her the same way, because I would ruin her. So like you said.
727
Chuck: Yeah.
728
Manny: Have a daughter man, it'll change all that. Change everything.
729
Eric: I think you know some.
730
Eric: There's a lot man. Y'all hit some really good points. I think the one thing we're talking about is like, you know, black men finding these spaces. The 1st thing I'm thinking about is just.
731
Eric: it's the inability to. And it's not because and not not excuse me. I agree with you, Chuck, like, it's definitely a lot of things teach us and condition us. And it's the skills actually to know how to do it like, how do like? How do you explain being vulnerable to somebody, to where it's palatable?
732
Manny: Bruh.
733
Eric: Being vulnerable is that if you cannot be vulnerable with people, places, and things.
734
Eric: you will live a very isolated life. There's no you can't.
735
Chuck: Little little secret here. Yeah, the women can't do it either.
736
Eric: Yeah, I don't.
737
Eric: At all.
738
Eric: and that's the thing is that you got to be able to be vulnerable and open up and present yourself in a way that how you feel where your feet are instead of again. There's this hard drive of we can only show up in the world this way.
739
Eric: Yeah. And and and the power. What you're talking about, Jeezy, is like the space we have here we are. Come as you are, in such an authentic way in the Lxi group
740
Eric: and in the world does not give that to us at all. You're talking about occupationally. You're talking about the roles that we play in life. We're supposed to be stoic. We're supposed to be, you know, have these answers, and we're and we're pushing back against that narrative. And
741
Eric: I think about a lot of black fathers is. They're very connected to like anger, as an expression is like A is the stigma, the old stigma and stereotype. I'm gonna say, we're breaking new new grounds on that. However, it's very, very much connected, and the one thing I say is, it's unpopular, but it's true. Anger is not even a real emotion.
742
Eric: Okay, it's a product of fear and sadness.
743
Jeezy: Yeah.
744
Eric: And so you're thinking about a lot of men.
745
Jeezy: Number one have pension boy. That boy paid.
746
Manny: He said. I'm kidding.
747
Jeezy: Listen. I got a.
748
Eric: I gotta pay this, brother, let me tell you you know much that that degree cost. I gotta pay it off.
749
Manny: Oh! Oh! Oh! Bruh.
750
Eric: Go ahead. So you're thinking about fear and sadness, man, and that's a lot of vulnerability to express fear as a black man to say, I'm scared.
751
Jeezy: Yeah.
752
Eric: Or I'm sad, or the 2 hardest things black men could probably do. And so that's vulnerability. And so what do we do? We use anger because it pushes things away right? It's an avoidance tactic. It's an isolation tactic. And then what we do is we go on social media. And you see these clowns out here talking about some lone wolf bullshit of all men suffer in silence. And but excuse me, Screw, that it's absolutely stupid to think that you are supposed to do this by yourself.
753
Chuck: News.
754
Eric: We are social.
755
Chuck: Brand new friends.
756
Eric: That that whole. Get it
757
Eric: by yourself, man. No, no, thank you, I don't. I choose better. I choose happiness. I choose peace.
758
Jeezy: If somebody, if somebody got the experience. Well, the connection we got in this group, I mean, like, Oh.
759
Manny: This is.
760
Chuck: They feel warm and cozy, but.
761
Jeezy: Hey, hey, Buddy?
762
Jeezy: Dryer, they give up them. Yeah, they give up them as real quick.
763
Eric: The the the group that we got in the potent product we have. It might hit the chest like a Newport buddy
764
Eric: right? Hit the chest like a Newport.
765
Jeezy: People people can't.
766
Eric: What we, what we have created man, you know, is is a beautiful thing, and not everyone can
767
Eric: I? It's probably really, I think it would be really uncomfortable for someone to jump in our group and see the way we engage with each other.
768
Jeezy: Yeah.
769
Eric: Because we're so vulnerable.
770
Jeezy: Yeah.
771
Manny: Eric, you
772
Manny: so I've never heard that fear is not a real emotion, that it is the byprod. Sorry anger is not a real emotion. It's a byproduct.
773
Jeezy: Bar.
774
Manny: It it was. And like I'm sitting here just even thinking.
775
Manny: I don't remember the last time I've just said I'm sad.
776
Eric: And being okay with that.
777
Manny: And thinking about to like the times. I was angry. Yeah, how much that was just like.
778
Jeezy: Sadness.
779
Manny: Me being sad, and me having a fear of not knowing what to do next.
780
Eric: Or being accepted.
781
Manny: Yeah.
782
Eric: Dare I say, for you to be a black man, and sad to be accepted by? And it's not no slight to anyone's partner or anybody in life. It's just that what's been instilled to Chuck's point conditioned in you, that you're not. You're not worthy of those things, or or being loved, unless you are a 1 way.
783
Chuck: We are not.
784
Chuck: You're Babe.
785
Jeezy: Collection plate for you. Bro. You're not about to pass that collection.
786
Jeezy: Yay.
787
Manny: You can try to build Blue Cross Blue Shield. I think they.
788
Jeezy: Yeah.
789
Manny: Ed, that's a that's a good. That's an amazing point. And I, yeah.
790
Jeezy: That in all honesty, that that is a
791
Jeezy: that is the cap of this episode. Bro, yeah, I really think so. Bro, cause that that is, that is, that is a beautiful point that men should take
792
Jeezy: and really examine themselves.
793
Manny: Yeah.
794
Jeezy: To that degree, because oftentimes we don't look at things that way.
795
Eric: Ever. We're not allowed to.
796
Jeezy: But we're not we. We don't, and we're not allowed to.
797
Jeezy: so it's all. That's the
798
Jeezy: Man, let me tell you that that is beautiful, Eric, and I think that for what it's worth!
799
Jeezy: Autumn years of.
800
Eric: Here, we fucking! Go! Here we go! Go ahead!
801
Jeezy: I could do, but I.
802
Eric: You ain't got to say it, though you ain't. I know what you was. Gonna say.
803
Jeezy: For this to be a father's day episode.
804
Jeezy: I am proud of the growth that you have.
805
Jeezy: I'm sorry. Yeah.
806
Chuck: Bye.
807
Eric: Don't listen to easy.
808
Jeezy: Listeners ain't gonna understand what I'm saying, but I just want to let you know I'm proud of you.
809
Jeezy: Bro. I'm proud of you, you
810
Jeezy: and man you, you have definitely grown, and I know that not only is Charmaine benefiting from this, but aiden as well
811
Jeezy: from the growth that you've had, and and I want to let you know that I'm
812
Jeezy: I'm proud of you, son.
813
Eric: Could have, I could have put you know what man, hey?
814
Jeezy: Had to. I had to one time. Bro. Hey, things are going too good.
815
Eric: The things.
816
Eric: said Yo, this is one too many compliments in a row. I don't. It hasn't been a week.
817
Jeezy: Bruh I had I had to, but but but but none other.
818
Jeezy: With that I think that this episode and God, man, we should. We should do this more often
819
Jeezy: think that the masses
820
Jeezy: need not just black black dads not just involved participant involved. Black dads need to hear this, but I think this is just good, just as a pallet cleaner. Yes, from all that we've dealt with in politics and life and society to have this, and I will, I will say, and I hope that
821
Jeezy: that I'm not speaking ill in this. But this, this is definitely part one.
822
Manny: Oh,
823
Eric: Oh, man! But for sure.
824
Manny: For it.
825
Jeezy: And I think that if you would like to hear more of what we have to say.
826
Jeezy: our brother here, Chuck.
827
Jeezy: has a beautiful and very wise field podcast called encompass. And if and we've talked about it on previous episodes here at partner, politics. But if you had, if you have not had a chance to go. Listen to this, brother.
828
Jeezy: Speak, and I'm speaking his flowers as a as a black present, father, in spite of all the things that he has had to endure. In spite of all the things that currently are going on in his life, he's still able to share wisdom to the masses. I would employ you to please, go
829
Jeezy: and listen to our brother Chuck, and if you don't have anything enticing to go, carry you over to his podcast if you've liked this episode and the conversation that we've had, we're going to continue part 2 over on his platform.
830
Eric: Our mirrors is what they would say.
831
Jeezy: Yes, sir, we we gonna take a a water break. We're gonna go to the water fountain and get a little water.
832
Jeezy: and we gonna come back with Part 2 over on his platform. So if you like, what we've talked about today here on partner politics, and I know it's not politics, and I know that it's not our norm. We don't have a pickle of the week in the spotlight of the week, but certainly we have given you, something to to hope, to.
833
Manny: Chew on.
834
Jeezy: Digest and and go forward better than where you were at before we started this episode come over to the new episode that will be coming out and encompass podcast and we will pick up part 2. So I'm
835
Jeezy: again that many.
836
Manny: And happy, happy father's day.
837
Manny: Happy father's day, after.
838
Eric: Father's Day.
839
Manny: Father's day. By the time you guys are listening to this, a happy father's day.
840
Jeezy: Yeah.
841
Manny: And like, we always say.
842
Manny: happy father's day to the fathers, to the fathers.
843
Jeezy: We said it the last.
844
Chuck: As the puppy.
845
Jeezy: And the big piece of chicken.
846
Eric: In the day.
847
Jeezy: If no mothers.
848
Eric: Just my.
849
Jeezy: Under the father.
850
Eric: Anybody else.
851
Jeezy: And if you are a father who has not done your job.
852
Jeezy: you still used to have a chance.
853
Manny: Time is always right.
854
Jeezy: Community to do the right thing. You never.
855
Eric: Theatre.
856
Jeezy: You're never too far
857
Jeezy: from doing the right thing, and though you may have lost out on time, you still can make things right. So if you are one of those fathers, make things right with your children.
858
Jeezy: make things right in your family, and build that bond. But most of all, thank you, Eric. See, that's in that bag that you in, brother, make things right with yourself so that you don't care generational trauma into your children, but you build them, and you develop them into what they can be, not what you used to be.
859
Eric: Yeah, there it is.
860
Manny: Hey!
861
Jeezy: Thank you. Hey?
862
Eric: Hey! Leave, it there, brother.
863
Manny: Well and like we always.
864
Eric: Soul.
865
Manny: Like. We always say here at part of the part in the politics that don't no one else love. Y'all just know the boys here at the pod we love y'all.
866
Jeezy: We love. Y'all take care we'll see you on the next episode. Take care, world, and we'll see you. Then.